Elizabeth, I loved your writing from the start, but this solidified you as my personal favorite finance blogger. I never understood that obsession with minimizing the spend by all means – sure, I will cancel my Paramount+ subscription if I don't watch it. But I know people worth 8 (!) figures, who still refuse to fly business class. It’s a 12+ hour flight and they’re 50+. Get the lie‑flat. When you die, they take everything from you. Oh, you want to leave it to your kids – well, the kids will fly business, why wouldn't you do the same? The whole point of working hard and making money and saving is so that one day you do something with this money.
P.S. The shoes are awesome and I support the 4-figure price tag – that's what money is for.
Oh thank you so much! And yes I regularly tell wealthy people that re flying business class - you might as well; your heirs are going to!
Many forms of spending have more to do with identity though, and me living my adult life in an expensive urban area around affluent colleagues and clients has a lot to do with what I deem normal or aspirational.
If my (multimillionaire) dad who all but lives off his social security check ever sees this post, he may never recover. 😂
Talk about persuasive writing! That line about "your kids will fly business class" hit home. Those impertinent whelps. I immediately upgraded my flight to London. Old "cost/benefit" analysis tendencies ("Gee, for the cost of that flight, I could instead....") die hard.
I am with you on ‘minimizing fixed expenses’ - especially any kind loan obligation. It builds room for splurges, aka ‘one time expenses’ like your fancy sandals.
First off, congratulations on this fabulous splurchase! Your arguments preceding it read like poetry. I am a firm believer in lifestyle creep as a financial choice. I WANT to buy better things over time, I want to travel comfortably. I don't want necessity to rule over my budget but free choice. Lifestyle creep is indeed the whole point, lifestyle expenses are LIFE expenses, the most precious of budget categories, why would we treat it as the guiltiest of them all?
I remember when my brother was working really hard and he could finally afford the nice camera he wanted. This was back in 1991 or so. But he felt guilty spending the money. A co-worker told him, “spend it! This is why you’ve been working so hard! Get what you want.” He did and never looked back.
Great article and I find it interesting how guilt attaches itself to purchases that reflect our real lives and tastes. It’s almost as if we have all inherited a script that treats pleasure as something to be rationed rather than maximised. When a choice is thoughtful and intentional, there shouldn't be any hesitation or a sense that enjoying something is somehow a bad thing.
Love this - a newcomer to your column and a fan, and quite a bit older than you. Reading between the lines, I have a hunch that aspects of the purchase that give you pleasure include (i) a bit of healthy self-deprecation at paying an objectively unreasonable (or at least unnecessary) amount of money for shoes, combined with (ii) the knowledge that you will equally objectively use and enjoy them (vs them sitting in the back of a closet somewhere). That’s a pretty good test. What I mean by the first point is that there’s a healthy pleasure in the splurge - which falls in between reckless over-spending and being so oblivious to cost that you lose appreciation (and gratitude) for the purchase.
As a separate point, the bike quote is funny (and I have time for the Moustache guy as well) - it’s all about context. I ride a mountain bike that’s worth more than the car I currently drive. That may change, or it may not. I travel a lot and don’t really care about cars as status symbols. Self-knowledge about what you actually care about is really the test.
I know it’s a playful jab at yourself, but do you want to keep the label of Money Nerd? Your posts feel healthy and philosophical - not excessively mathematical.
The distinction you draw between upgrading wants versus needs is interesting — better shelter can be empowering, while the shoes are about self-expression, and both can be deliberate rather than drift. Your early Excel budget story is a nice reminder that the tracking mattered more than the frugality label.
When you're advising someone earlier in their journey, how do you help them tell the difference between a deliberate upgrade and plain old creep? Is there a signal you look for?
I think the signal is primarily based on a person’s values. “Creep” in the negative sense to me is primarily defined by unintentional spending leaks or things you upgrade based on peer pressure (whether wants or ‘needs’).
Really almost all modern spending can be deemed a “want” more than a need. Most of our food, shelter, and clothing spending is more about self-expression than survival.
I agree with your comment around designing a life you love, but of course you need to have your stockpile of money to upkeep the lifestyle you want, especially into retirement. It’s important to do both, but also align with your personal values. For me, I haven’t built the spending money muscle so that part is very hard, and also material items don’t really excite me (and my lived experience encompasses growing up in an Asian household where I’d get a lecture if I spent money on anything). But….this may just be the article I needed to read as we’ve been on the fence about joining a private athletic club - so thank you for the validation 😆
If you can afford it, I say go for it! Getting more comfortable spending - and giving - takes practice for sure, just like saving does for those who are more natural spenders.
Lifestyle creep gets a bad name because it lumps deliberate upgrades together with expenses that just quietly become the new baseline. Spending more on the life you actually wanted can be the point. The danger is when the higher spending stops feeling chosen.
Love this so much. I care deeply about retirement and I'm saving aggressively toward it but I am definitely not denying myself and my family some of the pleasures of life either.
Honestly, I've never fully understood the "avoid lifestyle creep at all costs" advice. Isn't a better lifestyle kind of the point of working hard and growing your income? Truly as you said "Many worthy life goals naturally come with increased expenses"
"Spending money is a muscle" is the line I'll be chewing on. I'm at the very start of this — late twenties, first in my family to move abroad — and the wrinkle nobody writes about is that lifestyle creep gets read as a moral verdict by the people who funded the launch. Every upgrade has to be quietly justified against what my parents did without. I think you're right that it's the point rather than the leak. I just haven't worked out how to be visibly delighted about the sandals in front of my mum yet.
Really great point about the generational differences. It’s hard for all of us not to judge others who have/spend more or are able to work/struggle less - even when we are the ones who made it possible!
We are 'guilty' of spending more on vacations and getaways over the years as our financial situation improved. No apologies there. I guess my caution to people would be to buy the sandals (or take the trip) as long as it's what YOU want vs trying to keep up or impress others. The motivation behind the spend.
Best thing I have read all week! As a 23 year old, I find it difficult to make decisions when they make life better but leave a dent in my wallet. This really helps!!!
As someone who is also struggling with the guilt of spending more (even though I can afford it), this post totally hits the spot. I've been examining my goals more closely and came to a similar conclusion - what's the point of wealth if we don't enjoy it? As long as the purchases are well thought out, deliberate, and bring me well-deserved value, it's worth it!
Elizabeth, I loved your writing from the start, but this solidified you as my personal favorite finance blogger. I never understood that obsession with minimizing the spend by all means – sure, I will cancel my Paramount+ subscription if I don't watch it. But I know people worth 8 (!) figures, who still refuse to fly business class. It’s a 12+ hour flight and they’re 50+. Get the lie‑flat. When you die, they take everything from you. Oh, you want to leave it to your kids – well, the kids will fly business, why wouldn't you do the same? The whole point of working hard and making money and saving is so that one day you do something with this money.
P.S. The shoes are awesome and I support the 4-figure price tag – that's what money is for.
Oh thank you so much! And yes I regularly tell wealthy people that re flying business class - you might as well; your heirs are going to!
Many forms of spending have more to do with identity though, and me living my adult life in an expensive urban area around affluent colleagues and clients has a lot to do with what I deem normal or aspirational.
If my (multimillionaire) dad who all but lives off his social security check ever sees this post, he may never recover. 😂
Talk about persuasive writing! That line about "your kids will fly business class" hit home. Those impertinent whelps. I immediately upgraded my flight to London. Old "cost/benefit" analysis tendencies ("Gee, for the cost of that flight, I could instead....") die hard.
AND, I then signed on as a paid subscriber. Talk about splurging!
Ha, thank you!! :)
I am with you on ‘minimizing fixed expenses’ - especially any kind loan obligation. It builds room for splurges, aka ‘one time expenses’ like your fancy sandals.
Exactly. About half my annual spend is discretionary now - which leaves plenty of room for fun and spontaneity!
First off, congratulations on this fabulous splurchase! Your arguments preceding it read like poetry. I am a firm believer in lifestyle creep as a financial choice. I WANT to buy better things over time, I want to travel comfortably. I don't want necessity to rule over my budget but free choice. Lifestyle creep is indeed the whole point, lifestyle expenses are LIFE expenses, the most precious of budget categories, why would we treat it as the guiltiest of them all?
I remember when my brother was working really hard and he could finally afford the nice camera he wanted. This was back in 1991 or so. But he felt guilty spending the money. A co-worker told him, “spend it! This is why you’ve been working so hard! Get what you want.” He did and never looked back.
"Spending money is a muscle - and skill - that I learned to exercise from the start." Yes.
Great article and I find it interesting how guilt attaches itself to purchases that reflect our real lives and tastes. It’s almost as if we have all inherited a script that treats pleasure as something to be rationed rather than maximised. When a choice is thoughtful and intentional, there shouldn't be any hesitation or a sense that enjoying something is somehow a bad thing.
Love this - a newcomer to your column and a fan, and quite a bit older than you. Reading between the lines, I have a hunch that aspects of the purchase that give you pleasure include (i) a bit of healthy self-deprecation at paying an objectively unreasonable (or at least unnecessary) amount of money for shoes, combined with (ii) the knowledge that you will equally objectively use and enjoy them (vs them sitting in the back of a closet somewhere). That’s a pretty good test. What I mean by the first point is that there’s a healthy pleasure in the splurge - which falls in between reckless over-spending and being so oblivious to cost that you lose appreciation (and gratitude) for the purchase.
As a separate point, the bike quote is funny (and I have time for the Moustache guy as well) - it’s all about context. I ride a mountain bike that’s worth more than the car I currently drive. That may change, or it may not. I travel a lot and don’t really care about cars as status symbols. Self-knowledge about what you actually care about is really the test.
I know it’s a playful jab at yourself, but do you want to keep the label of Money Nerd? Your posts feel healthy and philosophical - not excessively mathematical.
Haha, one can be both I guess! ☺️ Either way I still view the world through a financial lens a lot of the time.
The distinction you draw between upgrading wants versus needs is interesting — better shelter can be empowering, while the shoes are about self-expression, and both can be deliberate rather than drift. Your early Excel budget story is a nice reminder that the tracking mattered more than the frugality label.
When you're advising someone earlier in their journey, how do you help them tell the difference between a deliberate upgrade and plain old creep? Is there a signal you look for?
I think the signal is primarily based on a person’s values. “Creep” in the negative sense to me is primarily defined by unintentional spending leaks or things you upgrade based on peer pressure (whether wants or ‘needs’).
Really almost all modern spending can be deemed a “want” more than a need. Most of our food, shelter, and clothing spending is more about self-expression than survival.
I agree with your comment around designing a life you love, but of course you need to have your stockpile of money to upkeep the lifestyle you want, especially into retirement. It’s important to do both, but also align with your personal values. For me, I haven’t built the spending money muscle so that part is very hard, and also material items don’t really excite me (and my lived experience encompasses growing up in an Asian household where I’d get a lecture if I spent money on anything). But….this may just be the article I needed to read as we’ve been on the fence about joining a private athletic club - so thank you for the validation 😆
If you can afford it, I say go for it! Getting more comfortable spending - and giving - takes practice for sure, just like saving does for those who are more natural spenders.
Lifestyle creep gets a bad name because it lumps deliberate upgrades together with expenses that just quietly become the new baseline. Spending more on the life you actually wanted can be the point. The danger is when the higher spending stops feeling chosen.
That’s a good point. It’s hard to be intentional with money all the time - but it’s a worthy effort.
Love this so much. I care deeply about retirement and I'm saving aggressively toward it but I am definitely not denying myself and my family some of the pleasures of life either.
Honestly, I've never fully understood the "avoid lifestyle creep at all costs" advice. Isn't a better lifestyle kind of the point of working hard and growing your income? Truly as you said "Many worthy life goals naturally come with increased expenses"
"Spending money is a muscle" is the line I'll be chewing on. I'm at the very start of this — late twenties, first in my family to move abroad — and the wrinkle nobody writes about is that lifestyle creep gets read as a moral verdict by the people who funded the launch. Every upgrade has to be quietly justified against what my parents did without. I think you're right that it's the point rather than the leak. I just haven't worked out how to be visibly delighted about the sandals in front of my mum yet.
Really great point about the generational differences. It’s hard for all of us not to judge others who have/spend more or are able to work/struggle less - even when we are the ones who made it possible!
We are 'guilty' of spending more on vacations and getaways over the years as our financial situation improved. No apologies there. I guess my caution to people would be to buy the sandals (or take the trip) as long as it's what YOU want vs trying to keep up or impress others. The motivation behind the spend.
Best thing I have read all week! As a 23 year old, I find it difficult to make decisions when they make life better but leave a dent in my wallet. This really helps!!!
As someone who is also struggling with the guilt of spending more (even though I can afford it), this post totally hits the spot. I've been examining my goals more closely and came to a similar conclusion - what's the point of wealth if we don't enjoy it? As long as the purchases are well thought out, deliberate, and bring me well-deserved value, it's worth it!